Get me OFF!! I want off! I want off from this train that is my life because It's bloody going in the wrong direction! I was supposed to have thought up what I want from my life and I was supposed to have my life in order by now! It's the wrong train! I want off!
I feel like at the moment I'm in the middle of something, like between some of the major plots in my life or something and this is the phase in-between. I don't feel like a child (not that I ever really have, but I mean, that when something is wrong, I don't go to my mom about it anymore, even though we're really close) and I don't even know where my home is anymore. I've called so many places 'home' these past three years, that the word has lost it's original meaning of a safe haven to 'a place where I live'. But I guess that's unavoidable, seeing as I've grown apart from my family with the past years. Even if I do go home, my parents mostly aren't even there, or are really tired from work and rather watch TV, than just... I don't even know... talk? I don't know, I just know I don't have that safe place feeling anymore. And it's really scary and sad. But at the same time I'm not a grown-up either. Which is surprisingly frustrating. It annoys me to no end, that I cannot work, have my own place, have money that I've earned myself... It's amazing really, how one can get used to having their own money.
Also... I've kind of ruined my whole plan of starting Uni in some other country, seeing as I'd have to send off the application by 15th of January and I still haven't got the faintest as to what to study. I've considered going into digital media, but it doesn't really sound very me-ish. But there's honestly not a subject, that I feel is completely right for me at this point. But I just recently realised, that if I'd want to try next year, I wouldn't be able to get the reference letters from my current teachers and gahh... Why is everything so bloody difficult?
I don't know... I just wish I could somehow... skip this awkward, confusing phase of my life (not really, but I would like to cut out a few things like school stress and Charles).
Furthermore, I'm so tired of this gifting idea of Christmas. I'd actually love to have a Christmas, where there are NO christmas presents and just people, sitting comfortably, talking. And no TV either.
Life in general is moving both too fast and too slow. Really annoying.
Is it too much to ask a steady life with possibly a nice partner and friends who are emotionally stable in relationships without coming to me (I STILL don't understand why they come to me.. I've never even BEEN in a proper relationship, seriously..) for advice and comfort for Christmas? I'd just really like for the prelims to be over and cuddle with someone with some glögi (erm... mulled wine?) and tangerines. And I'd like some christmas lights. Lots of Christmas lights. But I'm too poor to buy them.
But hey, maybe next year will be better.
So you're supposed to fill in this meme and comment on this entry with the answers and then post the meme on your LJ, so I could do the same for you.
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God(dess)?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY THILIA!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERMIONE!!!!!
I'M AN IDIOT
i really am. You see I was personally HANDPICKED from our school, to go to FINLAND, for a week FREE. *headdesk* and can you believe what i did? I TURNED IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just because I have 2 small performances in the same week. I'm an idiot. Really, TRULY and idiot.
Please someone KILL ME.
I'm really annoyed right now...
You see, we have this "new" girl in our class,
She came in September. She is THE most stupid person i've EVER met. You see, It's one thing, she believes big blue fish aliens from Sirius built the Pyramids, but It's a whole new thing, if she asks idiotic
questions (the ones, what are already answered at least THREE bloody times), she actually provotes our class boys to hit her (?Like WTF?!?!) AND she seriously BEGGED our teacher a punishment!! That's NOT normal. Plus she never pays attention to ANY classes, She comes school, when she wants, she doesn't do her homework, and she DOESN'T get punished because of it, she almost never does tests with us. She is arrogant, stupid Bitch. AND she actually thinks she is popular?
And do you want to know the riddiculus reason, why are WE getting punished (Having this girl in our class is THE biggest punishment), It's because our school psychologist thinks our class GIRLS (remember that, because our class boys have this BAAD, bad reputation ;) ) are NICER than in the other class. i swear my mouth dropped open, when I heard it.
So yeah, I'm annoyed. I hope she gets kicked out of our school ASAP.
And I'm never like this, I'm actually really nice with these kind of people, but she just gets under my skin. And I've always been really explosive, when someone really, REALLY annoyes me. I'm already dreaming of her (literally) kicked out of our school :) :) I wish it would come true... *sighs*
PS. Is anyone has any good ideas how to get her out of our school or at least out of our class, i'd be more than happy to hear them.
PPS. Oh, and she carries a KNIFE in school with her too, so I'm not only annoyed, but really scared of my life...
Yes, School is over!! for a week, then I have to go back to the Torturing... *shudders* Anyway, you know, there's this girl in our class, who thinks The pyramids were made by big fish aliens who came from Sirius ( you know, the STAR sirius, the planet of dogs and so on) . Aaaand today, in our physics class she told us that people have magnetic fields (aura or karma of whatever) and that infuences the EARTH magnetic field, and when all the people were good and Atlantis was still on earth, people could teleport themselves into light?! Like how INSANE is that? and she ACTUALLY believes it?? Weird.... Anyway, I'm having this huge headache because of my lack of sleep, Aaaand my niece is once again visiting us and she sleeps in my room... i have to watch her.. *sighs* I think i'll go to bed now, Maybe i'll get more sleep before she is put to sleep and she wakes me up...